Tony's Big Day
by jugglequeen
Summary: Like so many of us, I just can't let go of "The All-Nighter". So this is another A/U story of how Tony's little intermezzo affects our favorite couple's relationship.
1. The Envelope

**Chapter One - The Envelope**

When he came home he spotted the envelope still in the same place where he had last seen it this morning; the envelope with an invitation to his graduation ceremony coming up in three days.

He had made it. Sometimes he couldn't believe it himself, but he had really and truly passed all his final exams, and in a couple of days he would be holding a teaching degree in his hands. If that wasn't a reason to have a big celebration! He would be the first Micelli to go to work in a suit. His parents would have been proud of their little 'Antonio'. His father had been a garbage man, his mother a traditional housewife. They had always hoped that their son would graduate from high school, go to university, and become a banker, or lawyer, or engineer. But he had been a promising baseball talent, and running and jumping around on a baseball field had been so much more fun for the young Tony than sitting at home over books, studying for school. So he had left school early to fully concentrate on his baseball career. And he had been successful from the start, had made it into the Major League at a young age. Had fate not struck him this badly with a serious shoulder injury, he might have made it to the All-Star team someday. But it hadn't meant to be. Instead, he had ended up on the street, admittedly with a considerable compensation, but without any higher education. He had a wife and a daughter to provide for, so he had started to apply for all kinds of odd jobs, such as working at a wrecking yard, as a gas station attendant or construction worker. He had been very thankful when Mrs Rossini had offered him to work as a truck driver for her fish shop on a permanent basis. Having a reliable source of income had taken a lot off his mind and had let him finally sleep peacefully at night. That had been the time when he had sworn to himself to make Samantha get a college degree, so that she wouldn't be forced to worry about financial matters the way he had done. That had been the reason for why he had come to Connecticut to work as a housekeeper in the first place, and meeting his employer had only strengthened his wish to push his daughter through college at any cost. This well-educated, hard working woman kept impressing him. She was financially independent from her ex-husband, and able to provide a decent prosperity to her family. She could send her son to the best schools, thus putting him in a position to be successful himself one day. Her work fulfilled her with pride and satisfaction, and wasn't comparable at all to the treadmill all of his ancestors had gone through to earn their humble income.

That Samantha and he would not only find a source of income within their new community, but also friends and family - and maybe even more than that - hadn't been foreseeable at the time. And that his boss would promote him and make him go to college had been way out if his imagination. But she had! She had motivated him, supported him, pushed him, tutored him, challenged him, mentored him, psyched him up if necessary; without her, he would've never made it, that was as clear as the morning dew. And now she left the envelope with the invitation to his graduation ceremony untouched on the little secretaire ever since he had handed it to her a few days ago with the cheerful words, "The day has come, Angela. Here's an invitation to my commencement." She had taken it from his hands, barely looking into his eyes, had mumbled something like, "I'll have to check my agenda", and had put it in the place where it rested since then. Of course he knew why, and it had nothing to do with that she wasn't happy for him, ... it had everything to do with Kathleen.

Kathleen. The woman he was dating although he had feelings for Angela, and although he knew she was having feelings for him. He hadn't looked for another woman, or planned to dive into a relationship, it had just happened. He had met her during one of his classes at college. They had first kissed in an impulse after a studying session with a whole bunch of people. The atmosphere had been heated by the slides of the Rubenesque nudes they had been watching. So one kiss had led to another and somehow they had ended up in bed. When he had sneaked into the house the following morning, he had felt guilty like an adulterer. His heart had been so heavy that he had to confide in Angela right away and had told her about his affair. Angela's face had been like an open book; he had seen all the hurt and sadness his confession had evoked in her. It made him feel guilty and sorry up until this very day. But he just couldn't help it, and Angela, intelligent and wise as she was, understood that they had to go through this to see whether their relationship was resilient enough for romance. At least she had told him so. Of course he didn't know what was going on behind her forehead, what she really thought about all that. He only noticed her sometimes puffy eyes in the morning, or the many weekends she spent at her agency to prevent being alone in the house when he was at Kathleen's.

What was wrong with him? He couldn't tell. He kept on hurting his best friend, the woman he owed a lot to, the one person he was closer to than to any other person in his life, including his current girlfriend. The tears she had shed during their talk in her den had never left his mind. He asked himself whether it really was a coincidence that he had jumped into this relationship just now, a few months before his graduation. Women had lead him into temptation before, but he had always resisted. Mrs Rossini had tried to hook him up with Gina, the Italian girl next door, at one of her Thanksgiving parties. He had kissed her, but that was all. He had embarrassed his daughter to the bone with kissing her teacher Lois - Old Lady Scranton as she was called by her class - behind a curtain at a school dance. He had stopped seeing her, and not only because of Samantha, but also because of the expression in Angela's eyes when Sam had whined about it in front of her. He had shown Trish around, Angela's friend from university. She had seduced him, but had gone to the reunion without him. Angela had offered to share his company that evening, because she had been angry about the way he had been treated by her friend. There had been Geneviève from France, one of Angela's clients, who had been an embodied temptation, dressed in nothing more than a silky French negligée. If Angela hadn't shown up in the hotel room and if he hadn't left with her something might have happened that night, but he had never regretted having missed that chance. Angela had risked a multi-million dollar account just to preserve his dignity. Tanya had been from his old neighbourhood, someone he had fooled around with when he was a teenager. He had spent one single night with her, but only because Angela had been dating that dork Geoffrey at the time. Betty had tried to turn him on with her open flirtations, but he had resisted her erotic dancing. And last but not least, there had been Frankie, who had proposed to him and had asked him straight in the face whether it was because of Angela that he refused to marry her. That was a long list of temptations he had withstood, and Angela had always played a part in it. So why hadn't he been able to leave that motel room with the other students of the study group? Why had he stayed behind, alone with Kathleen?

Was it because she was the one? The first woman he could truly love after his first wife had died so many years ago? Hardly. Deep down in his heart he knew that Angela was that woman. So why couldn't he just let go of Kathleen? Was it because their relationship was running so smoothly? His Brooklyn buddies were patting him on the shoulder, congratulating him on getting himself such a georgeous, young girlfriend, who worshipped the ground he walked on. Mrs Rossini had already taken her into her heart, teaching her how to prepare Tony's favorite meals. They both joined the same study groups and circle of college students, so socializing was easy. Easy, ... that seemed to be the key word. His relationship with Kathleen was easy, whereas his relationship with Angela was complicated. But the easy solution wasn't always the best in life. This knowledge manifested itself slowly in his mind. And why now? He had met other campus girls during his college years who had given him the eye, but had never pursued things. Was it because he had told Angela once that he needed to graduate first until he'd be able to decide on their relationship? Being involved with someone else was a good enough excuse to procrastinate a decision. Was that the reason? Was he simply afraid to be hold on to the promise he had made in Jamaica? Did he need an excuse for _her_, or rather for himself? He didn't know. He was confused and indecisive, feeling like a ghost-driver who speeded on the wrong side of the road, waiting for the big bang. This image in his head complimented perfectly the one Mona had once used to describe his relationship with Angela: driving a slow car with a flat tire along the scenic route. At least the latter went into the right direction.

He sighed. He wasn't sure whether he should talk to her about it. Ever since he started to see Kathleen on a regular basis, the atmosphere between them had become tense and awkward. So awkward that she now refused to bestow any consideration upon the envelope which was so important to him. They had been able to talk about everything in the past years; from teenage problems to shopping lists, from mother-daughter conflicts to vacation destinations, from business matters to household chores. They had shared their deepest secrets and fears with each other, and now they weren't able to exchange little more than a morning greeting and casual small-talk at the dinner table. Why had he let it come that far, he often asked himself. And he asked himself even more often, if there was any chance to return to their wonderful, carefree relationship.


	2. Still The Same Envelope

**Chapter Two - Still The Same Envelope **

She closed the door, turned around and instantly spotted the envelope. It was still in the same spot where she had put it those few days ago, after Tony had given it to her with much ado. She had been touched by the pride in his eyes upon handing over the invitation to his commencement. Of course he wanted her to be there, but she wasn't sure whether she would be able to make it. She had told him that her agenda was tight, that she had to check whether she had time to come; but of course that was only a pretext. She actually had an appointment with a potential client that particular day, one which had been scheduled many weeks ago, but it could easily be postponed. And if she was honest with herself, she would admit that she'd even risk losing a client just to be able to watch Tony being handed his college degree. She would, if only things weren't so complicated between them at the moment. At the moment she preferred to stay away from him, and the mere fact that she felt this way tore her heart apart.

She sighed, put her heavy briefcase on the little bench next to the front door and hung her coat up the rack. When she turned her back to the secretaire the envelope was placed on, she could almost feel its presence physically. She knew it was cruel to keep him guessing whether she would attend or not, but she was still not sure whether she could bring herself to go there. She approached the antique piece of furniture, stood still in front of it and stared at the envelope as if it was a rattle snake, threatening to attack her. Angela was so deep in thought that she didn't notice her mother tiptoeing through the living room.

"Go ahead, touch it," Mona hissed over her daughter's shoulder from behind, "it won't bite you!"

Angela startled. "Mother! Do you want me to get a heart attack? Can't you make your presence felt with a little more subtlety?"

"No! It's much more fun this way," she answered with a wide grin. Mona scrutinized Angela. She had an idea what her current edgy mood was all about, for she had also noticed that Tony's envelope hadn't been touched for days. "Angela, what is it with you and Tony's graduation ceremony? When will you release poor Tony and tell him you're going to attend?"

"Poor Tony?"

"Yes, poor Tony! He's desperately waiting for an answer."

"I'll tell him when I know whether I want to attend," Angela answered matter-of-factly.

"When you _know_? Why wouldn't you know?"

Angela wasn't really comfortable talking to her mother about it, she wasn't comfortable talking about it at all. She took the few steps to the couch and let herself fall powerlessly onto it. Because she didn't show any indication to answer her mother, Mona probed with more determination.

"Spit it out, Missy! Why on earth wouldn't you want to share Tony's big day? You were the one who made him go to college in the first place!"

Angela hesitated, but then realized that there was no use in further denying. She might as well tell her mother. Maybe talking about it would ease her mind.

"_She_ will be there," was all that came out of her mouth though.

"She?" Mona shrugged. "You mean Kathleen?"

"No, Mother, the Queen of Sheba!"

Mona ignored Angela's sarcastic remark and went on interrogating. "What does she have to do with you going or not going?" She earnestly didn't understand. Of course she knew that Kathleen was like a red rag to Angela, she herself had been the first one to tell that Tony hadn't spent the night in his own bed just by looking at him. But that Angela could be missing Tony's commencement because of her sounded absurd.

"She will be there, ... with him!" Angela further elaborated, but still stared into an uncomprehending pair of eyes.

"So?"

"So, ... " Angela bit her lower lip. She wasn't a person who could talk about her emotions easily, not even to her mother. She was not in control, and she hated it. It made her vulnerable and weak, a condition Angela loathed to be in. But now that she had already started the conversation, she might as well let it all out. She knew that despite her constant nagging and teasing, her mother loved her and would always stand behind her to catch her if she fell. "It hurts to see them together, Mother," she finally admitted, her trembling voice not much more than a whisper.

"I wondered when you would finally surrender, Dear. I thought you were a masochist, allowing them to make out on your couch."

"He lives here, Mother. I can't forbid him to bring his girlfriend into the house."

"Be that as it may, but that doesn't mean he has to rub his geeky relationship directly under your nose!" Mona became exasperated with Tony's thoughtlessness. "I always knew that you were a strong woman, Angela, but the dignity and self-command you're handling this with really impresses me. I think I would've slapped the man in the face every time I saw him, if something like this had ever happened to me," she further admitted.

"He isn't doing this out of disrespect for me, Mother, or to humiliate me. I think he needs this to put our relationship to the test. If we can go through this, we can go through almost anything."

"Oh, stop being so noble, Angela! The only person I see going through something, is you! So if you want this over and done with, you've got to fight. Don't wait until Tony comes to his senses by himself. This girl is playing hardball, don't leave the battlefield to her. You've already handled so many encounters with her, why are you so afraid about this one?"

"Because this is _their_ day, don't you see that, Mother? They will both be there, celebrating _their_ graduation. Something they accomplished together."

"That might be true, but don't _you_ see that Tony wants you - and only you! - to celebrate with him? Don't you know that he has struggled through college just for you, Angela?"

Angela stared at her mother uncomprehendingly. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you think he started to go to college after all, huh?"

"Because getting a college degree has always been a dream of his. He dropped out of school for his baseball career and regretted it later. Then he felt he had the chance to right this mistake."

"Wrong!"

Angela shook her head and frowned.

"Angela, he went to college just for you! Don't you know? Think back to the time when he attended one of your evening classes. It was just the same. He wanted to be able to talk about advertising with you at eye level. He wanted to share your enthusiasm about marketing. He desperately tries to equal you, in order to cut quite a figure at your side."

"But then why did he get involved with someone else only months before he graduates? I don't understand, Mother. One moment, he tells me that after his graduation he'd be able to decide about us, and the next moment he informs me that he's dating another woman."

Mona only shrugged and threw her hands up in the air. "Men! A species which does dumb things once in a while. To me it seems like some kind of stupid displacement activity, to be honest. He's unable to deal with the situation." Mona laid both her hands on Angela's shoulders and looked her right in the eye. "But the fact is, he just wants you to be proud of him."

"But I _am_ proud of him!"

"Then show him with going to his commencement!" Mona insisted. "If you miss your best friend's most important day, it will harm your relationship forever, whatever will come out of it eventually - friendship or romance. Listen to your wise, old mother and think about it." Mona noticed that her words had gotten Angela's thoughts going. She could literally see them scurrying around behind her forehead. And that was all she had tried to achieve. She cupped Angela's face and lifted it, so that she wouldn't be able to avoid her motherly eyes. "You still have three more days to make a decision, Sweetheart. But don't let Kathleen take Tony away from you. If you don't go there, you're practically pushing him into her arms. But that's not where he belongs, ..."

Angela's eyes started filling with tears. If felt good to have her mother as a confidante in this, and she had made her think. "Wise, old mother?" Angela repeated and couldn't prevent a mocking grin.

"I warn you! Don't ever tell anybody I called myself 'old'!" But then she also smiled and continued in an affectionate tone. "I know you'll make the right decision, Angela. You've always been gutsy in fighting for your share of happiness. As a teenager, you went up to the boy you adored, your head held up high, and you asked him right in the face whether he would take you to the prom. You kneeled down in front of Michael and proposed to him, because the jerk was too chicken to ask you. And I know you can do this Angela, because for the man you love, you can do anything."

"Thank you, Mother, for your support. But things are a little different this time, I'm afraid. I don't know whether I'm able to take the first step this time. I'm not strong enough to bear another rejection. Tony has to find out himself who he wants to be with. Anyway, I haven't been very successful so far with my tactic of making choices for the men I want. This boy, his name was Jason McFarlane by the way, never invited me to the prom. And Michael was only able to take ten years of being married to me. So maybe this time I should leave the decision to the man."

"Whatever you say, Dear." Mona caressed her daughter's cheek and gifted her a tender, motherly smile.

What Angela didn't tell her mother anything about was the fear which slowly but evermore insistently crept up her spine, driving her crazy - the fear to eventually lose Tony for good. Two weeks after his commencement he would start working as a teacher, which meant he wouldn't be in need of his job as a housekeeper anymore. She herself had helped him to get the job, had edited his resumé and had geared him up for the job interview. They had even had a glass of champagne together to celebrate that he had gotten the job. It had been one of the rare moments when the atmosphere between them had almost been like it used to be - easy and cordial. But now she often asked herself whether he would leave her house once he quitted working for her. She knew he was a proud man, he would never agree to stay without consideration. She could offer him to stay as a tenant at a favorable rent, but was sure he would likewise refuse. Apart from that, the mere thought of having Kathleen - or any other future girlfriend - going in and out of her house at will disturbed her a lot. It would eventually kill her to live together with Tony as if he was just a regular housemate. The only thing which had made her undergo having him so near but yet so far away at the same time in the past, had been the prospect of being allowed to openly love him one day. If that prospect didn't exist anymore, watching him dating other women would be torture. No, maybe it was best if he moved out. But then again, a life entirely without Tony seemed dreadful and almost impossible. Her musings made her shiver.

Mona noticed the distraught look on Angela's face and the sadness in her eyes. "Is there anything else you want to tell me, Angela?"

"No," Angela answered short and crisp. She knew that talking about it would stir her up too much.

Mona squeezed Angela and threw her an earnest look. "You know that you can talk to me about anything, don't you, Dear?"

"Yes, I know, Mother. There's nothing more to talk about. Everything's been said."

"If you say so," Mona replied, a bit disappointed. She didn't believe her but knew that it was no use in further closing in on her. So she got up from the couch, threw another glance at the envelope on the secretaire, and left the living room through the back door. She left behind a confused, troubled and insecure Angela, who had never felt so desperate and helpless in her entire life.


	3. A Lube Change

_Author's Note: Sorry, I planned to update sooner, but I've been very busy with other things. So, finally, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy, and when you do, please review! _

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><p><strong>Chapter Three - A Lube Change<strong>

She closed the refrigerator door and smiled. Tony had told her exactly what to get for the weekend. He had promised to cook an Italian menu for their anniversary. She opened the bottle of red wine to let it breathe and put the champagne on ice to let it cool. When she was done in the kitchen she would go to her bedroom and change. She had bought a beautiful new dress and had been to the hairdresser, who had pinned her blond hair up exactly the way he liked it. She was in a good mood. The last year hadn't always been easy with him, but she loved him from the bottom of her heart and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Kathleen sighed. What took him so long? He had promised to come as soon as his chores at his working place were done. The problem was that his working place was also his home, so he wasn't as hellbent on leaving his work as normal people would be. Her boyfriend really had a peculiar job, and an even more peculiar relationship to his employer. Kathleen had noticed it right from the start. Angela had invited her the day after their first night together, clueless that Tony was much closer to her than to the rest of the study group. Angela had welcomed her perfectly, had been polite and hospitable. That had changed abruptly after she had talked to Tony in the kitchen. They had spent only five minutes in there, but when Tony had returned he had been contrite and unwilling to openly show his affection anymore. The complete opposite to the passionate lover he had been the night before. And when Angela had come out of the kitchen somewhat later, after the rest of their study group had arrived, she hadn't managed much more than a hasty 'Hello everyone'. All of her poise had been gone, she had seemed confused and shocked. And sad, very sad. She had paced through the living room as if she was on the run from something. Later Kathleen had realized that she had been fleeing from her, her housekeeper's new girlfriend.

Some time later, Kathleen had learned that Angela's affection for Tony was not only one-sided. Tony talked a lot about his boss in front of her, always only speaking very highly of his so-called employer. Though he never made a pretense that they were friends - close friends, very close friends even - Kathleen sometimes asked herself whether they had ever slept with each other. Tony kept denying it, but she wasn't so sure whether he could be trusted with this. They lived under the same roof for more than six years; a healthy young man and an attractive young woman. They shared their everyday life, sat together at the breakfast table in their nightwear, had been on vacation together. They raised their respective kids with each other. Well, fortunately all that had come to an end since Tony and she were a couple. He sat at _her_ breakfast table now, in his PJs and sometimes even without wearing a top. They had been on holidays in Florida together. They hadn't been able to afford to go to Mexico or Jamaica to a fancy resort, since Angela hadn't been paying for it understandably, but they had had a good time. The only sphere which remained Angela's was parenting, for Kathleen didn't have any children. Not yet.

Kathleen had been dreaming of a family ever since her early childhood. Her mother had died when she was a little girl, and her father, a grumpy army general, had been away in action around the world most of the time. So she had been brought up by her aunt, an unmarried, cold-hearted woman, who hadn't been able to replace her beloved mother. Every time she had slept over at one of her friends' house, she had enjoyed the warming atmosphere of a family life, with lots of people and the dinner table, chatting and laughing. Since then, she had longed for her own little family. As a kid, she had dreamt about a handsome prince, who would ride by on a beautiful black stallion, pull her up on his horse, and take her to his castle where they would live happily ever after. After she had grown up, she wanted to find herself a man who would love and cherish her, who would take care of her, and who would built the family with her she so badly missed when she had been a kid. With meeting Tony, Kathleen believed she had found the perfect guy. The man she had always dreamt about - strong and masculine, yet caring and warm.

She was very much in love. She was on cloud nine and enjoyed her relationship to the fullest. But she wasn't stupid. She knew that in most relationships there was always one party whose feelings were stronger, deeper, and more sincere. And she knew for sure that she was this party in her relationship to Tony. She took their relationship much more serious than he did. She was a woman after all, and could feel than Tony wasn't as deeply involved as she was. Which would've have been okay, if the reason for it hadn't been another woman. But it was. And Angela was that woman, Kathleen knew. And it scared her. Angela had a lot to offer. Although she was a bit older than Kathleen, she was a very desireable woman - slender figure, fine facial features, blond long hair. She was well-educated, self-sufficient, and affluent. Kathleen was impressed by Angela's career, by the way she had fought her way through the men's business world until she was successful with her own advertising agency. She was intimidated by her. She felt Angela was playing in a different league. But she also felt that this could be working to her advantage, because Angela not only played out of her league, but out of Tony's as well.

With their graduation coming up, Kathleen hoped that her relationship to Tony would undergo a major change. With a degree in hand and a teaching job in sight, he wouldn't be in need of his housekeeping job anymore. Samantha had already moved out of the house in Fairfield, so Kathleen wondered what could possibly hold him there. But maybe it wasn't so much a question of 'what' but rather one of 'who'. Maybe Angela offered him to stay as a tenant. But then again, teachers' salaries weren't high enough to be able to afford housing in this area of Connecticut. She hoped that having gone through college together and graduating at the same time would meld them closer together. They had accomplished this together, being driven by the same motives. Like Tony, she had dropped out of school in her teen years and had been a very eager and industrious student. Kathleen pictured Tony moving in with her, starting their life as a soon-to-be-married couple and family later on. Sometimes she was afraid that she was only building castles in the clouds, that it was more wishful thinking than a very likeable development. But she was a romantic person, madly in love, and relied on the fact that it seemed so much more unlikely for an ex-housekeeper to marry his former employer, than for two fellow students to tie the knot.

The doorbell rang and Kathleen practically jumped up and ran to open the door.

"Hi Darling, I was waiting for you. Why did you ring the bell?" She had given him a key to her apartment a few weeks ago, but he refused to use it. He insisted on ringing the bell, just like some kind of visitor. Kathleen would appreciate, if he entered her apartment with his key as if he lived there.

"Hello, Kathleen. Sorry, Angela's car badly needed a lube change," Tony explained his delay.

"Aren't there any mechanics in Fairfield who do that for a living?" Kathleen asked, a bit annoyed. Angela again, of course!

"Ah, ... well, she needed it right away. She'll be driving the Jag all the way up to Niagara Falls for an advertising convention this weekend. And I don't want her to break down somewhere on the road." There he was again, protective, caring Tony. If he only was as protective and caring about her as he was about Angela. "And it's no big deal. It's done quickly and it saves some money."

"As if she needed to save money," Kathleen mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Nothing!" Kathleen hastened to assure. She knew that the more she accused Angela of something, the more he defended her. And she didn't feel like talking about her at all. She wanted to celebrate her first anniversary will all the frills - sparkling champagne, delicious food, and passionate lovemaking. But wait! What did he say? Angela was going to Niagara Falls for the weekend?

"Isn't she going to be at our commencement on Sunday then?" That sounded too good to be true. A look into Tony's eyes told Kathleen though that their opinions were deeply divided on this issue.

"Can you believe it? She says she has to meet this potential client at the convention, that he has a big account to assign, and that the agency is in need of it," he complained.

"So? Why is that so difficult to believe? Sounds comprehensible to me."

"But it doesn't sound comprehensible to me!" Tony argued. "How can she miss my graduation ceremony?"

"You mean _our_ ceremony!" Kathleen insisted.

"Whatever, ..."

Kathleen felt hurt. It seemed to her that Tony regretted more that Angela wouldn't be there, than he enjoyed to spend the day with her. And there it was again, the feeling which kept on appropriating her with increased regularity the longer their relationship lasted; the feeling of being used as a stopgap until Tony finally knew what he wanted in life. Having Tony all to herself on that particular day would at least make him focus on her and only her, and that made her looking forward to that day even more.

"Come on, this will be our big day! Don't let one of Angela's clients spoil it," Kathleen tried to calm the waves.

"I don't care about Angela's client, ... well, of course I do, ... but I'm just disappointed that her business is more important to her than I am."

"Tony, she's a business owner. They always put their business in the first place and their private life comes second."

"But Angela usually isn't like that. My scholastic achievements were always very important to her. Gee, she moved heaven and hell to get me enrolled at Ridgemont, she tutored me through many classes, and she took care of the house during my internships. She supported me throughout the entire program. I don't understand why she doesn't care about the commencement at all anymore."

Tony seemed really upset and even a bit angry, but also clueless about Angela's motives. Kathleen felt like screaming 'Because of me, you idiot!' at him but kept these words to herself of course. She shook her head. Why were men just so little perceptive when it came to a woman's psyche? To her it was as clear as night follows day that the only reason why Angela had decided to be elsewhere at Tony graduation ceremony was because she, Tony's girlfriend, would be there too. She even slightly sympathised with her. She hadn't meant to destroy a relationship. It had always been one of her personal rules to not butt in an existing relationship. But then again, Tony hadn't been in a relationship with Angela when she had first met him. They obviously were having some kind of very close and intimate friendship, but Tony had more than once assured her that there was nothing between them. She knew that 'nothing' was a little understated, that there definitely was 'something' between them. It seemed as if both didn't know what exactly this 'something' consisted of.

And Kathleen most certainly didn't want them to find out.

Ever.


	4. A Maid With A Degree

**Chapter Four - A Maid With A Degree**

Tony stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom and looked at himself. He couldn't believe what he was seeing: an ex-pro ballplayer and now housekeeper in his mid-thirties in a graduation gown with an academic cap on his head. If only his parents could see him now, they would beam with pride and joy. Now and then, he even caught himself waiting for someone to pinch him, for this still seemed so unbelievable. Tony Micelli, a college graduate with a teaching degree, member of the alma mater of Ridgemont College, Connecticut. "Well done, Pal," he told his reflection in the mirror, "I'm proud of you!" He was looking forward to the ceremony ahead of him, to the moment the Dean would solemnly hand over his degree. And in two weeks time he would start his first teaching job at the small community grammar school in Fairfield, teaching first-graders how to read and write. He was still amazed by the U-turn his life had taken since he had first come to Connecticut. He had arrived here as a broken man, railing against his fate. He had still been grieving for his wife and had had troubles dealing with the abrupt end of his sports career. Caring for his daughter had been his only joy in life, but had also stretched him to the limit. He had dreaded to raise her through puberty alone, without a woman at his side to care for all the ... er, 'female problems'. Ever since he had first entered this house on Oak Hills Drive, applying for a job, his life had gained a positive trend. He had found new friends, a family, and a boss who had always been more than just his boss. She had been his mentor on the crazy ride from housekeeper to president of the PA, college freshman, and now graduate. He felt as if he had finally grown up to the man he was supposed to become. He liked the man he saw in the mirror, but he was also angry at him.

He looked at his wristwatch. There still was plenty of time. He had been so eager to put on his gown and cap that he had started dressing far too early. Now there was enough time to muse about what was making him so angry. It was the way he had damaged his relationship to Angela, the person he owed everything to. He would probably still be driving Mrs Rossini's fish truck, if Angela hadn't trusted him and given him a chance. She had always believed in him, had pushed and supported him. And what had he done? He had been too lethargic to settle his affairs; one affair in particular.

He liked Kathleen, that was not it. He liked her a lot. She was attractive, funny, spontaneous. She could cook, had all the housewifely skills, went to college with him, and she was in game for everything. He had a good time when he was with her. But was that what could be expected from love? To have a good time? Definitely not! To be in love with someone meant to be filled with aching, burning desire, to utterly surrender to your beloved and to be completely devoted. That was what he had felt like when he was married to Marie, his first wife. When he had been with her, the world around them hadn't existed anymore. Only the two of them had mattered, and later on the two of them and their lovely daughter. When he had spent time with Marie, he had never thought of other people, let alone of other women. Interestingly enough exactly this happened when he spent time with Kathleen. The closer his graduation neared, the more aware Tony became that he wasn't truly involved in this relationship anymore. And he kept questioning himself whether he had ever been.

He knew exactly why he was contemplating so much lately. He had told Angela once that after his graduation he would be able to decide about their relationship. When he had made the promise, that day had still been somewhat far away in the distant future. And now the day was imminent, and it put him under a lot of stress. She surely expected his decision. He owed her a decision. She deserved a decision. He had tortured her long enough. For an entire year now. He had brought his girlfriend into her house, had asked for additional days off to spend with Kathleen, had missed a major client event at The Bower Agency because of their vacation in Florida. How could he have been so inconsiderate? It could be called a miracle that Angela hadn't fired and kicked him out of the house. He _had_ betrayed her. Not in the literal sense - no - but emotionally; and that was even crueller. He felt so guilty, ... with respect to both women. He didn't dare to give his heart to the one he wanted to, and gave it half-assedly to the other. He treated both women badly and it made him want to barf. He had thoroughly screwed up everything! Especially his relationship to Angela. She didn't want to come to his commencement, that said it all. She could've as well screamed into his face that she hated him, that she didn't care about him anymore, that he didn't deserve her affection anyway. He would understand.

"My dear Angela," he soliloquized, "how am I to make it through this day without you? I need you. I want you." He looked at the reflection in the mirror and saw a crestfallen man who had nothing in common with the proud man he had pictured just a few minutes ago in the very same mirror.

* * *

><p>Angela was sitting on an uncomfortable wooden chair in a huge unadorned, everyday conference hall. The convention had been nothing but a waste of time. But she had known that beforehand. And even <em>if<em> the agenda had been interesting, she wouldn't have gotten anything of it anyway, because her thoughts kept wandering from Tony to his commencement, to Kathleen, and back to Tony. Darn! Why couldn't this man leave her alone? There had been nights she hadn't been able to stop crying, nights in which she had felt so helpless because she just couldn't let go of him, nights in which she thought she needed an exorcist to free her body and mind from him. But then again, she didn't want to be freed. Stupidly enough, she still loved him and hoped that he would come to his senses eventually. Her mother had called her a masochist, and maybe she was right. She didn't lack opportunities to get involved with other men. She had even dated Andy for a few times, a smart and successful doctor. But other than giving her back her self-esteem and making her feel desired and wanted, he hadn't been able to touch her heart. His kisses hadn't stirred her up and his lovemaking hadn't woken her passion. She had always compared him to Tony; Andy never really had a chance to win her heart.

Angela felt that there still was chemistry between them, even if their interaction had become awkward and tense. If Tony really loved Kathleen from the bottom of his heart, he would've moved out. She was reminded of the time she had been dating Geoffrey, the guy who had always introduced himself as 'Geoffrey with a G'. Tony had noticed then that she hadn't been involved deeply enough to marry him. That had been why he had tried to talk her out of it. And she had broken off with Geoffrey the moment she had realized that he wasn't the man she had been looking for. Why was it so difficult for Tony to break off with Kathleen?

A year! A whole year she had been watching the two of them now! Kathleen holding on to Tony's arm when leaving the house. Kathleen calling him 'Darling' and 'Honey' and 'Sweetheart'. Kathleen lying on her couch with her head on Tony's lap. Kathleen kissing him in the kitchen. Kathleen calling and asking her to take a message for Tony. Kathleen going on a one-week vacation with him. The only thing she didn't have to tolerate was Kathleen spending the night at her house. Tony was decent enough to sleep with her only at her place. Until now, she had been spared the sight of Kathleen in a bathrobe, sitting at the kitchen table with a blissful after-glow-smile on her face. Her imagination had played a trick on her several times though, and she had pictured them in bed together. It had made her want to vomit. It was so hard to love him and not being loved back. She had problems holding back her tears thinking what was about to take place a few hours from now without her, and when sudden applause resounded for the key note speaker she blinked and a tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

><p>2 pm!<p>

Tony scanned the auditorium and his heart sank the moment he spotted the empty chair in the 4th row, the row with the reserved seating for his party. Sam and Hank were there, Jonathan and Mona. Mrs Rossini was completely discomposed, constantly wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. Billy waved at him, looking so cute in his suit and tie. Their presence touched him and made him proud, but the empty chair felt like a stab in his heart. How could someone being absent cause so much physical pain? So, she hadn't come. She really hadn't come! But what he had accomplished didn't have any meaning if it couldn't be shared with her. Tony felt like running from the place, like leaving the campus and forgetting that he had ever enrolled at Ridgemont College. Even if he had thought of following his impulse, it would've been too late, for he felt a grip on his upper arm. Someone was dragging him along.

"Come on, Tony! What's with you? The Dean has already started his opening speech. If you remain standing here, staring into the void, you're going to miss our great moment," Kathleen hissed.

"Alright, alright, ..." he answered and let her pull him towards the stage, where the Dean had already started to call out the names of the graduates in alphabetical order.

"Peter Bustman, ... congratulations. Sharon Dustberg, ... congratulations. Kimberly Fowler, ..."

* * *

><p>"Jason Kunis, ... congratulations," the Dean said with a solemn expression on his face, shaking the young man's hand and patting his shoulder while handing him his degree.<p>

'Oh good,' Angela thought, 'he's still at the K-names, so Micelli hasn't been called yet!' She sighed in relief.

After the roaring applause in the convention hall at Niagara Falls had woken her from her trance, she had jumped out of her seat, had sidled her way through the narrow rows of chairs, had run to the hotel room of the convention center where she had hastily thrown her belongings into a small suitcase. She had cancelled the appointment with her potential client from the car, the one she had used as a pretense for not coming to Tony's commencement. She had told him she had to leave unexpectedly because of a private matter. The client had threatened to look for another advertising agency, but Angela hadn't cared. There were more important things in life than business, and Tony sure was one of them. She would never forgive herself, if she harmed her relationship to him only because of her ambivalent feelings towards Kathleen.

Angela scanned the auditorium and recognized Sam, Jonathan and her mother sitting in one of the front rows; Mona's red hair was distinctive, even from behind. The seat which Tony had been reserved for her, had been taken by someone else by the time. Besides, she was too late and would generate a buzz, if she wove through one of the front rows - just like she had done back in that conference hall. So she remained in the back and seated herself next to an older, grey-haired man with a huge camera on his lap.

"It's my granddaughter's graduation. I have to take some pictures," the man told Angela. "Whose graduation is it you're here for?" he asked.

"My housekeeper's," she replied, unthinking about how absurd that sounded.

"I beg your pardon? Did you say your_ housekeeper's_?" The man opened his eyes widely and stared at her.

"What? ... Uh, sorry, no I meant my friend's. My best friend's."

"Oh, so a mature student, huh?"

Angela didn't care that this remark was slightly ungallant, because it implied that she also was a rather 'mature' woman.

"Shhh," she reprimanded him, "it's his turn soon."

"Clarence Masterson, ... congratulations. Anthony Micelli, ..."

Angela's heart stood still. Her eyes followed Tony on his way across the stage to the honourable Dean of Ridgemont College. He took the degree out of his hands, shook the Dean's hand and bowed slightly. Angela's face was one gigantic smile. Her eyes were overflowing with tears of joy. He had made it! She had known it from the start. She had seen the potential sleeping inside of him, waiting to be awakened. He would be a fantastic teacher, she was absolutely convinced about that. And he looked so good! The dark blue gown matched perfectly his dark complexion and black hair, and his broad shoulders and muscular body were showing through the soft fabric. She beamed at him, her hands pressed to her chest, unable to move. The man beside her stared at her blankly. 'Her housekeeper's graduation. Ha!'

A few moments later Angela's excitement cooled down instantly when Kathleen was called by her name to pick up her degree. After the Dean had handed it to her, Angela could see how she left the stage, closed up to Tony, clung to him, and kissed him on the cheek. She was shining with joy and pride. Angela was reminded of her own commencement. Had that really been fifteen years ago? The man next to her was right, Tony was a mature student!

After the last graduate with the name of Zoe Zygmunt had received her diploma, some people in the audience stood up to meet their graduates, but the Dean raised a hand to silence them.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please, not so fast! Every year, the students pick out one of them to hold the farewell speech. Usually, it's the student with the best grade, but this year someone else has been chosen. Please welcome Mr Anthony Micelli to the speaker's desk, Ladies and Gentlemen, the ... uhm ... oldest student of the class of 1992."

For the second time on this day, Angela was pulled out of her reverie by thunderous applause, only that this time it was filled with joyous whistles and cheery shouts such as 'Go, Micelli!' or 'Let's rumble, Tony!' A speech? Tony was giving a speech? Why hadn't he told her? Why hadn't he asked her to work on it with him? Well, maybe because of the same reason why she had hesitated to attend the whole event. A few minutes ago, Angela had been full of joy and happiness, now she was gloomy and sad again, like she had been so often during the last months. But she was also excited about what Tony was going to say. She sat upright and listened carefully.

* * *

><p>Tony startled a bit when he heard the Dean call out his name. Of course he had a speech prepared, the first time without any help from Angela's side. Usually, he would orate several times in front of her, asking her what she thought about it. They would work on it together, edit it to perfection. She would give him advice on how to pronounce, where to stress a certain word, or where to make a pause. As a business woman, she had given dozens of speeches in her life and was used to talking in front of larger audiences, so he had always appreciated her help. This time he hadn't asked her to help him. Firstly because he didn't dare to, and secondly because he had planned to surprise her with what he was going to say. Now that she wasn't there, his words seemed hollow and useless to him. But there was no way back anymore. He had agreed to hold that closing speech because his classmates had asked him to. More than a few saw rather an elder brother than a fellow student in him. He was someone they looked up to, someone they asked for advice not only with scholastic problems, for he had so much more life experience than they had. So the majority of them wanted him to give the traditional farewell speech instead of Martin McMurray, the nerd with the best grade. There was no way that he could duck out now just because Angela, his tower of strength, wasn't sitting in the audience. So he approached the desk, cleared his throat, shortly checked his notes, and began.<p>

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for coming to the commencement of the class of 1992. We, the graduates, are thankful that so many of you are here to share this moment with us. In the past years, we have all worked hard - some harder than others ..." Tony paused and a few people chuckled. "... - but in the end, all of us made it. Thanks to you, the people who supported us. Being a father myself, I know that as a parent you always want to give your children the best of lives. And enabling your child to get a college degree is one major step. I know for sure that my parents wanted me to get a college degree. Unfortunately, when I was young - and stupid ... ", more chuckles could be heard, "... - I was more interested in baseball than the academic world. Although they were proud of me because of what I had accomplished in my sport, they were always a bit disappointed that I never went to college. Well, if they could only see me now, ..." He had to pause, because his feelings overwhelmed him and his voice failed. The people in the audience, who had been listening attentively to his emotional speech, started applauding. After a few moments, Tony regained his composure and continued. "Although my life was pretty good as it was, I always felt that I had failed the hopes my parents had set on me, having not even tried to get a college degree. I would've never imagined that with my parents being gone for so many years, another person would come into my life to nurture the wish to go to college. And I know you won't believe me if I tell you who this person was. ... My boss!"

* * *

><p>Did he just say that? Was he telling the entire auditorium that she had pushed him to enroll at Ridgemont? Angela gasped for breath. Her heart was pounding, and the blood rushing through her ears made it difficult to understand what he was saying. Her eyes were glued to him, and she stared at him with an open mouth. She grabbed her neighbour's arm and squeezed it hard.<p>

"Ouch! What's the matter, Lady?" The man looked at Angela, bewildered. "Oh! I see. _You_ must be the boss he's talking about. He really is your housekeeper then, I suppose. I'd call that some kind of staff training! Gee, a maid with a college degree! What was his major? Dusting or vacuuming? Ha ha ha!" His outburst of laughter got stuck in his throat when Angela threw him a furious look.

"I'd appreciate if you bothered about your own personal stuff, Sir! Would you please be so kind as to remain silent. I'd like to listen to the rest of the speech," Angela riposted his inconsiderate and humiliating remarks.

"Okay, okay! Relax!" the man tried to calm her, but mumbled to himself, "Sending your housekeeper to college! It's beyond belief!" Angela for her part was too absorbed in Tony's words to overhear what her ignorant seatmate had to say. And even if she had, ... she had given up a long time ago trying to explain to outsiders what her relationship to Tony consisted of and why it was so precious to her.

* * *

><p>Did he just say that? Was he telling the entire auditorium what a great person Angela was? Kathleen's pulse accelerated, throbbing against her temples. This was supposed to be <em>her <em>day. How did he dare to spoil it with mentioning Angela in his speech? Didn't he know that he was hurting her with this? Obviously he didn't know or he didn't care. Either way, it was making her angry. Kathleen was fuming. Angela wasn't even there, but present nonetheless. Like always. She had always been like an invisible third party in their relationship. It had never been only the two of them. She wondered whether Tony had ever thought of his beloved boss while he was kissing her or making love to her. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists so hard, that her knuckles turned white. She would tell him later what she thought of all this.

* * *

><p>"My boss, and my best friend. She took my parents' place and pushed me to college. She believed in me and gave me the strength and support every college student needs to be able to make it through the difficult times, like when you failed a test, or when a professor is giving you a hard time." Tony threw Professor Darnell a knowing look, which was answered with a loud chuckle by the man who had once criticized Tony so badly. "Without her, I might've given up at some point, but she wouldn't let me. Sadly enough, this person, who has been and still is so very important to me, can't be here today. But I truly hope she knows that I appreciate everything she's done. Like all of you should know, that what you did for your graduate is highly appreciated. Thank you, moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, sisters and brothers, friends, and ..." he grinned roguishly, "bosses, ... for your love and support! Thanks for listening, Ladies and Gentlemen, have a wonderful day everyone!"<p>

With this he left the speaker's desk and returned to his seat. The applause went on for a long time, for Tony's speech had touched many people. Only Kathleen didn't seem to be too pleased. She didn't even look at him. But Tony didn't care. He couldn't enjoy his success. Neither the applause, which showed that his speech had come across fairly well, nor the diploma he was holding in his hands. His thoughts were with Angela, who he missed so badly on this day.

* * *

><p>Angela slowly got up from her seat, her knees still wobbly. So that was why he wanted her to be at his commencement so badly. Her mother had been right, he didn't perceive it as Kathleen's and his day, but as theirs. She was so glad that she had changed her mind at the very last minute. But she was too confused and discomposed to face him now. She was afraid she might burst out into tears once she stood in front of him and looked into his warm, brown eyes. So she picked up her belongings and turned around to leave the hall undetected. But it was too late.<p>

"Angela?" she heard him call her.

Running out now, pretending not to have heard him, would be childish, so she took a deep breath and turned around. His joyful expression caught her completely off guard. She hadn't known that her presence at this event was indeed so very important to him.

"You're here?" he asked in surprise, "I thought you were in Niagara Falls!"

"Well, I ... uhm," she spluttered, "my client cancelled our appointment," she lied, "so, ... I thought I might as well leave the convention a bit earlier."

"Why didn't you sit with Mona, Jonathan and Sam in the front, where I could see you?"

"I arrived in the nick of time and didn't want to make a fuss, so I took the first available seat in the back."

"I see. Did you hear my speech?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"Yes. It was a very good speech, Tony. Very touching. I feel flattered that you see me as your parents' proxy, but you don't owe me anything. Maybe I pushed you a little at the beginning, but you've accomplished this on your own. You can be proud of yourself." With an admiring smile on her face and a deep look into his eyes she added, "I am!"

Tony swallowed hard. "You are?"

"Yes, sure!"

"Angela, there's something I have to tell you. I-" Tony wasn't able to finish his sentence because of a jarring shout.

"Toooneee! Where are you? Matthew invited us to his place for a little celebration," Kathleen informed him, and when she became aware who Tony was talking to, she said in a depreciatory tone, "Oh hi, Angela, aren't you supposed to be at a convention in Niagara Falls?"

"Hello Kathleen. Congratulations on your degree." Just because she disliked the woman didn't mean that she forgot everything about courtesy. "The convention was over earlier than scheduled." That was all Kathleen needed to know.

"I see." Kathleen took Tony's hand. "Sweetheart, we should be going. The others are waiting for us." She started dragging him away from Angela, but he stood there rooted to the spot. He felt terribly torn between his girlfriend and the woman he felt so close to.

"Wanna come?" he asked Angela.

"Oh no. Uhm, ... you go and celebrate with your classmates, Tony. I, ... I have to catch up with some work," she lied again, although she knew that she would never be able to concentrate on her work now. She needed to go home and sort out her emotions.

"But I want to celebrate with _you_," Tony explained.

"We can do that some other time, Tony."

"O-okay." It was obvious that he wasn't happy with this course of events, but didn't know how to change it. "Thanks for coming, Angela. You made my day!" he showed her a grateful smile.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I came."

Angela looked after them, and so she caught the distressed look Tony was throwing over his shoulder. When their eyes met, they both smiled slightly. Then he turned around and vanished, rather being dragged by Kathleen than escorting her. Angela sighed. One more moment adding to the dozens he had left her behind, going somewhere with his girlfriend.

"I knew you would change your mind, Dear," Angela heard her mother's voice talking to her from behind. "Don't take it too hard that he's leaving with her. Coming here was the right decision, you'll see!"

"This is exactly why I didn't want to come." Angela's voice was thin.

"I know, but don't you worry, Angela. This woman will be Tony's girlfriend not for much longer."

"How do you know?"

"I compared the way he was looking at her to the way he was looking at you. His face was like an open book, and Angela was written all over the pages, not Kathleen."

"I hope you're right, Mother."

"Haven't I always been?" She smiled an encouraging smile, laid her arm around her daughter's shoulder and shoved her towards the stage. "Let's go and meet the others. Mrs Rossini cried her eyes out during Tony's speech. I bet she's still hysterical and has a much puffier face than you, so no one will notice your stirred-up emotions."


	5. A Pensive Traveler

**Chapter Five - A Pensive Traveler **

Tony cautiously closed the door and locked it. The sight which was greeting him when he turned around was very familiar. Angela sitting on the couch, her feet tucked under her legs, lots of papers on her lap, huge glasses on the tip of her nose. Only that this time her head was slightly tilted against the back rest and her eyes were closed. She had fallen asleep over her work.

He tiptoed around the coffee table and sat down on one of the arm chairs and looked at her. He had taken off his gown and cap some time ago and carried them in a paper bag he now put on the floor. He glanced at the papers on the table and read 'proposal for a future cooperation' and smiled slightly. Just what he had thought and even hoped for; the client hadn't cancelled on her, it had been the other way around; Angela had cancelled the appointment to be able to come to his commencement and now she was trying to make up with the client with an improved proposal. His heart leaped for joy, although he felt sorry that for her it meant additional work. He inhaled heavily and leaned back in the arm chair. He began to relax for the first time on this day. Since this morning he was on a rollercoaster ride with feelings of excitement, regret, joy, sadness, pride, and angst alternating constantly. Now he was relaxed.

He was home.

Where he belonged.

Finally.

He hadn't wanted to leave Angela behind after the commencement, but somehow he hadn't been able to withstand Kathleen's demand to escort him to their classmate's party. Celebrating with his classmates had been a natural thing to do, whereas celebrating with his boss instead of his friends would've been out of the ordinary. That was exactly what had kept him in this half-hearted relationship for so long. Nobody screwed up his nose about Kathleen and him, nobody questioned his motives or gossiped about it behind his back. But love was not about taking the less complicated way and content yourself with the second best just to avoid difficulties. Love was about taking chances and risking everything to be rewarded with being loved back. It was time he manned up and stood by the woman he really loved. And that was not the woman he had left behind at Matthew's place.

His classmate's penthouse had been awesome, food and drinks had been offered abundantly, and the mood had been cheerful and boisterous, but Tony hadn't been at ease. He hadn't been able to get Angela out of his mind, and after some time he had caught himself at not even wanting to get her out of his mind. Thinking about her had filled his heart with glee. So he had ignored Kathleen's warning that she would be mad if he left, had excused himself and had taken a taxi. The closer he had approached 3344 Oak Hills Drive, the more he had relaxed and the wider his smile had become. He was doing the right thing, he knew like never before. But when he had stood in front of the door, putting the key into the lock, he had gotten cold feet. What if she thought he simply traded one woman for the other? What if she laughed at him, asking him whether he had honestly expected she'd wait for him forever? What if it had slipped his attention that she had found someone else? But then he had shaken his head as if he could get rid off his misgivings this way. He had silently opened the door, had sneaked inside and had spotted her on the couch.

Watching Angela in her sleep warmed Tony's heart. It made him happy and sad at the same time. She had changed into comfortable clothes and her hair was a bit unkempt. She had a pencil in her hand and a folder on her lap. Her ribcage rose and sank rhythmically. Suddenly she moved a little and the folder fell to the floor. The thud woke her up. It took her a moment to realize where she was and, more importantly, whose company she was sharing, then she ripped the glasses off her nose.

"You? What are you doing here? I thought you were at that graduation party in your classmate's house," Angela asked bewildered.

"I was, but then I wanted to be somewhere else," Tony answered.

"And where would that be?"

"Here."

"Oh."

Angela didn't know what else to say. They looked deeply into each other's eyes and what they saw in there made them both flinch, like they had so many times in the last seven years.

Tony cleared his throat. "You said that the two of us would also celebrate."

"Well, yes, but I didn't exactly mean tonight."

"Why not tonight? There is a bottle of champagne in the fridge. Moët & Chandon, your favorite, ..."

Angela bit her lower lip. She was torn by the wish to enjoy some time of their own on the one side, and the fear of getting hurt on the other. But quality time with Tony had become so rare lately that she brushed all precautions aside.

"Who can resist a glass of chilled Moët & Chandon?" she finally agreed.

Tony was pleased and smiled. He knew her so well, all her strengths and weaknesses, and ice-cold champagne was one of the latter. He could always lure her easily with it, only being topped by his double chocolate chip brownies. He could make her do anything for those if he wanted to. He loved the way she surrendered to his culinary skills.

He held the swinging door to the kitchen open and let her pass in front of him. He could see her insecurity. Her entire body language told him that she was tense and it made him sick. Since when did she feel so uncomfortable in his presence? Had she been like this for the whole time he had been dating Kathleen? Hadn't he looked closely enough to notice?

Tony opened the fridge and took out the bottle of Moët & Chandon he had hidden under a head of lettuce and some carrots this morning . Angela watched him from the where she stood close to the sink. She had her hands crossed in front of her chest and leaned against the counter. As far away from him as possible, Tony realized. He took two glasses out of the cabinet and put them on the round kitchen table. He poured the champagne and handed Angela a glass.

"Here you go. To what shall we drink?"

"Hmm," Angela contemplated and came up with something innocuous. "To the way a college education influences your life."

"To college education."

They clinked and both took a sip.

A short, awkward silence occurred. Angela didn't really understand what was happening. This morning she had been absolutely sure that she would miss Tony's big day, and now she was having a glass of champagne with him in the kitchen.

"Angela?"

"Yes?"

"There's something I'd like to explain," Tony started.

"Okay."

She scrutinized him full of expectation from her spot in the rearmost corner of the kitchen. Tony became nervous, and his courage abandoned him. It wasn't easy to acknowledge that he had been a jerk. Moreover, he couldn't assess her reaction to what he was going to say, and it scared him. But he was willing to risk being rejected. Things couldn't go on as they stood right now. And he was the one to make the first step, to initiate the change.

"Angela, I'm sorry for having left you at the commencement earlier. You had come all the way from Niagara Falls to be there and I went away from you."

"I said I wouldn't come, so of course you had plans," Angela stated.

"I didn't have any plans to be honest. I couldn't think of anything else but that you wouldn't be there. And it made me feel very lonely."

"Mother, Samantha and Jonathan were there. Mrs Rossini brought Billy along. ... You had Kathleen at your side." The last name made both cringe.

"That's not the same. I needed _you_ to be there." He turned around and made full eye contact. "I am lost without you."

"Well, ... you seemed to get along pretty well without me in the past year." Angela couldn't spare him this, and her accusing tone hit Tony right to the core. If he had thought that she would happily fall into his arms as soon as he offered his embrace, he was barking up the wrong tree. He couldn't stand her glance anymore and looked away. He paced back and forth nervously, like a panther in a cage. The atmosphere in the kitchen was stretched to breaking point now. But then Angela eased the tension with changing to a different topic.

"That was a beautiful commencement, Tony. And your speech was fabulous. Professor Darnell's course really paid off," she said with a grin.

"Thank you, Angela. Your opinion is the one that matters to me. You were the one I wrote it for."

They made eye contact again, even more intensively than before. Neither of them knew what to say. It was Angela again who broke the silence. "You're a remarkable man, Tony!"

"Me? Oh yeah, really remarkable," he repeated with a mocking undertone. To his mind, his behaviour during the last year could hardly be called remarkable.

"Oh yes, you are! They way you managed your life after Marie's passing. The way you took this crazy job to give Sam a better life. The way you have grown from an ex-athlete without any higher education to a college graduate with a teaching degree. That _is_ remarkable!"

"Well, Angela, you definitely contributed your mite to it. If it wasn't for you, I'd never be the man I am today. Not many bosses would do for their housekeepers what you did for me. So you're actually the one who's remarkable."

"I always wanted to be more than just your boss."

"And you are! You are way more than just my boss! We're friends right? You're the best friend I ever had."

"Friends, ..."

Tony could feel that she had hoped for one more word but he had stopped at that point. Of course he had! He had a girlfriend, and although adding 'lover' to the list had been somewhere in the back of his mind, he bit his tongue. They locked eyes again. They were both thankful for their friendship, peculiar as it was. It had always been more difficult for the outside world to understand their unorthodox relationship than for themselves. But right now it seemed so childish to cling so vehemently at the fact that they were _only_ friends. He wanted more. He had always wanted more, but their unwritten agreement to keep their relationship on a platonic level went on standing in the way. He waited for a signal from Angela to enter the unknown territory between them.

But instead of giving him the cue for continuing, Angela left her spot at the sink. She opened one of the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen and took out a small box with a ribbon.

"Since we're drinking to your graduation, I could as well give you this now." She handed him the box.

"A present?" Tony was dumbfounded.

"Yes. People do get presents when they graduate."

"Yeah, from their parents," Tony argued.

"You told everybody in the auditorium today that I was your parents' proxy, so I'm the one who's giving you a present for your graduation," Angela quashed his objection like a top lawyer.

"And you've hidden it in the cabinet I open like ten times a day?" he asked her a little amused. But his joke backfired the very next second.

"Well, you left the ceremony with Kathleen. I didn't expect you home tonight."

Ouch! Her remark felt like a deep hit in a boxing ring. But Angela wouldn't be Angela, if she didn't rescue him right away. "Open it!"

Tony loosened the ribbon and opened the box. It contained an exclusive Montblanc fountain pen.

"For marking your students' exams and signing their report cards," she told him.

He stared at the pen. It was hand-crafted, had a golden nib, and looked very luxurious and expensive. Tony was in awe. "Oh wow, I think I never got something this exclusive. I'm used to writing with disposable pens. I'm not even sure I know how to use a writing instrument like this."

"You can go on writing our shopping list with a disposable pen. Well, ..." Angela suddenly realized that this sounded like she presumed he would continue caring for her grocery shopping even with his teaching job. "Uhm, I mean, your shopping list. Not mine," she added.

"What makes you think that your shopping list isn't mine too?"

"Well, ... I don't know. With your teaching job starting in two weeks, you won't be my housekeeper any longer."

"Are you firing me?"

"Now don't be silly, Tony! I would never fire you! But let's be realistic here, okay! You can't be a full-time teacher and a full-time housekeeper at the same time, so I assume you'll give up your housekeeping job. Which is why you moved in here in the first place as far as I remember." Angela began losing her composure. She had procrastinated this subject for so long, actually since he was with Kathleen. Since he had started dating her, she contemplated about what would going to happen when he graduated. And now this moment was here.

"You're firing me and kicking me out of the house?"

"What?" Hysteria slowly began to take possession of Angela's mind. She had maneuvered herself into a corner with no way out. She felt like a mouse in a trap. Of course she didn't want him to leave, she'd more than anything like to keep him, only that she didn't know how.

"You want me to move out?"

"No!" Angela screamed. "Of course not!" Her eyes beseeched him now. "Why are you doing this to me, Tony?"

"Doing what?"

"Leaving me in the dark about your future plans."

"I don't have any, so there is nothing to leave you in the dark about," Tony justified himself.

"How can't you have any plans? You start a new career soon. You have a girlfriend who's having plans for your relationship, I'm sure. You're about to start out on a brand new life!" Angela managed to fight back the tears which were threatening to form. Under no circumstances would she make a jealous scene in front of him now.

"But I don't want my life to change." Tony shrugged. "Especially when it comes to the part you're playing in it."

Angela gasped. She wasn't a hundred percent sure of what he meant with his last words. Whether he wanted to stay as a tenant in her house or still be paid for household chores. Or whether he meant something completely different. Something she had been daydreaming about for so long.

Tony, too, understood that what he had just said needed further explanation. But he lacked the right words. He felt so dumb and unworthy of her affection for the way he had pushed her away from him for an entire year. Their eyes met and there was so much chemistry in the room that a single spark would've been enough to make the whole kitchen explode. Tony's mouth got dry and the lump in his throat was too big to swallow it down. At some point, he couldn't stand the tension anymore. As if moved by an invisible force he closed the gap between them with a few determined strides, stood still right in front of Angela, nose to nose, gently cupped her face with both his hands, and placed a forceful kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he looked into two flabbergasted eyes.

"What are you doing?" Angela demanded to know, completely taken off guard.

"I'm kissing you," Tony answered laconically, as if it was the most natural thing to do. And he just couldn't help it, a magnetic pull kept dragging his lips towards hers. This time his mouth rested a little bit longer at its destination, and his kiss was so full of love that Angela's knees turned to jelly.

"But you can't," she whispered, struggling for breath.

"Why not?"

"You can't kiss me like that, Tony. You've got a girlfriend," Angela explained, and the matter-of-fact way she said it cut deeply into Tony's heart.

"You don't have to remind me, Angela, I know. But I also know that the last days were like hell for me. The mere thought that you might not be at my side for my commencement was driving me crazy. I couldn't think about anything else but whether you'd be there or not."

Tony hesitated. Only now he became completely aware of what was about to happen. He was about to turn the steering-wheel around and reset the navigation to his life. He would be back on course. Finally. After one year of wandering around aimlessly. If he hadn't been so excited and thrilled about it, a feeling of guilt and regret would've made it into his conscience, but he was simply too delighted to allow any negative feelings to burden his heart right now. Everything seemed to be so easy all of a sudden. His future popped up in front of his mind's eye, clearly and unambiguously. Why had he ever been insecure? How come he had ever _not_ known that Angela was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Now, the only thing he had to do was to make her understand.

"I know that I demanded a lot from you in the past year. I don't even try to apologize because there is no satisfactory excuse. Other than that I behaved like a complete jerk maybe." Tony stroked his hair with both hands. He was nervous, but determined. This had to be the decisive moment. If he screwed this up, he might have lost his last chance to make up with the woman he had secretly been in love with for years. So he tried to concentrate. "I can't even imagine the amount of strength it must have cost you to come to the ceremony today. What I can tell you is that I was devastated when you didn't show up, and equally overwhelmed when I suddenly spotted you in the back. The saddest day of my life had suddenly turned into the happiest for me. Nothing had any meaning without you. And what you said about being proud of me, ..." Tony hesitated and swallowed hard. "You made me flying high like no other woman since, ... well, you know, ... Marie. Kathleen never made me feel this way, ever. I should've never gotten involved with her. It wasn't fair, because I was never willing to give her my heart entirely. You once said that my relationship to her might be a part of our journey to something more serious. Well, I guess I've not only taken the scenic route but a world trip, and I'm sorry that it took me this long. But today, at the graduation party at Matthew's place, I felt so out of place. There was no connection between me and these people, including Kathleen. I only wanted to be near you, Angela. A life without you is unimaginable for me. Totally _un-_imaginable! I'll talk to Kathleen tomorrow, I promise. I'm going to break up with her. But for now, ..." Tony stepped close again and took Angela's hands, "I'd prefer not to talk about her any longer, but to go on kissing you."

With this, he let go of Angela's hands, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with one hand, and pulled her into a tight embrace with the other. Whereas his emotions were obviously doing somersaults, Angela seemed calm and serene on the outside. Her face was like a mask and she didn't show any reaction whatsoever to what he had just said. Didn't she believe him? Was it too late? Wouldn't she be able to forgive him? Tony could only think of one way to find out. It was possible that she slapped him in the face, but then he would've gotten his answer one way or the other. So he cupped her face again. His hands were trembling when he touched her soft cheeks. Then he closed his eyes and put his lips on hers. Cautiously at first, but when he didn't feel any resistance he demanded entrance to her mouth with the tip of his tongue, and his heart leaped for joy when she granted it and her tongue finally began to reciprocate. When he felt her hands around his waist, eventually slowly travelling up his back, he was completely blithe and also very relieved.

"I love you, Angela," he whispered through a blond lock into her ear. "I don't know what made me hang in with her for so long, what I was looking for in that relationship. I had everything I ever hoped for directly in front of my eyes. The most beautiful, caring, desireable woman. The woman I have a crush on from the very first day I moved into her house. The woman I can't imagine living without. The woman I love like no other."

"And it took you a whole year to find that out? I've waited so long for you to tell me this, Tony. You definitely allowed yourself plenty of time!"

"I know. And I am sorry. I wished we could wake up with amnesia tomorrow and forget all about the past year."

"But then all the good moments would fall into oblivion too," Angela pointed out.

"Yeah, like what?"

"Like when you gave me the bouquet of pink roses for my birthday. Like when you cancelled your plans for the weekend and stayed here because of a predicted thunderstorm. Like when you gave my car a lube change although someone else was waiting for you," Angela enumerated, avoiding to call Kathleen by her name. If Tony was willing to delete her out of their lives, she wouldn't invite her back in for sure.

"You value these moments? Seriously?"

"I took all I could get."

"Gee, that sounds as if I was some kind of prison guard who threw you breadcrumbs once in a while. How were you able to take this for a year?"

"I loved you, and hoped that you would be able love me back some day," she said in her soft voice, but couldn't completely hide her suffering. "Mother called me a masochist."

"I'm surprised Mona didn't strangle me." Tony knew that despite her hard shell, Mona had a soft heart and would fight for her daughter like a lioness for her cub. "I can't believe you're still talking to me, Angela. I treated you like shit! How could I ever do that? I'll use the rest of my life to make up for what I did to you, I promise. Never again will you be mistreated like this. If I could turn back time, I'd tell you about my true feelings after they took my appendix out, because that was when I first realized that I loved you and never again wanted to lose you. If I had been a little more gutsy then, we would've been spared all the detours. But I was too chicken to-"

"Shhh," Angela silenced him with putting her index finger on his mouth, "there's no use in racking your brain about the past. What's done is done. Let's enjoy the here and now." She gifted a smile full of love. "Kiss me!"

"Your wish is my command," and with an ear-to-ear grin he embraced her and kissed her as passionately as never before, not even in Jamaica. 'Never again the scenic route,' Tony silently swore to himself, 'make that blind nun get out of the car and check that spare tire, Micelli!'

**THE END**


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